Friday, December 4, 2009

no such luck

Okay, hopefully this will be the last post before I become a mom. I have had reservations about the whole how will i be as a mom thing, but at this point I am so ready to try because I want her out and with us already. Our little girl is just too comfy in my belly and doesn't seem to want to move so much, oh well, she doesn't know what she is missing. Come out little girl, we love you and can't wait to meet you!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Hopefully last post before I become a mom

Well, we are approaching 40 weeks on Thursday and the time has finally come to await the arrival of our little girl. Gosh, how many emotions can you really feel at the same time, didn't know it was possible until this week. I'm up/down/backwards/sideways/etc stomach is either braxton hicking, moving around or contracting so hard to tell the difference at this point. Am I ready? I am excited/nervous and mostly scared out of my wits end that something will go wrong. We had a great pregnancy in the fact that all was healthy up to this point, I want to keep it that way and until I hear her breathe for the first time, I will be a ball of nerves then I will want to make sure she is healthy and I know she will be happy.

I realize I cannot predict all of these things so I am just hoping for the best and doing what I can do to stay sane and calm.

Monday, November 23, 2009

happy thanksgiving week!

I have so much to be thankful for this year and the years to come, i have a great family, baby on the way and the best husband in the world, life is good and its time to celebrate t-day with them all and enjoy the blessings we all have been given.

happy thanksgiving week!

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Been thinking a lot about patience lately since everywhere i go and everyone i meet really tries to take it from me. I think I am a very patient person and in the long run it helps me out, but why are so many people in a rush, rude and just don't realize that when you push people they will get upset. As the holidays come, patience is necessary to deal with people, traffic and life. I am holding onto my patience for dear life and only hope that I win this battle with the world.

Monday, November 16, 2009


Okay, think i am going to have to come up with a new way to look at being balanced because it is impossible to find my balance in both senses with this belly of mine. I can calm my mind for minutes then it starts racing again and again about everything that is coming up and forget about balancing my body, our little girl has taken control of that part of it. I hope I can find a new way to balance once she is here and we can enjoy our time together. I'm so excited and scared at the same time, good reasons why i can't seem to get balanced.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

37 weeks

We made it to saftey zone, today we are 37 weeks and one day!! Our little girl's lungs are developed and she is baked for the most part. Would like her to come out when she is ready but not to far after our due date. Been thinking about delivery more and more and imagining her with us and how that will work out. We are just so excited!! Here's to our little girl and making it to her saftey zone.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Feet and hands

Well, the countdown has officially started! We had the shower and we have gotten organized to the point that I feel good about the baby being born. Now I just need to worry about my swollen feet and hands. Lucky for me, I am going to spa night at an awesome place and getting a hand/feet massage, waahooo, here's to 37 weeks and making it to saftey zone this week.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Butt in gear!

Okay so I keep on saying that after the baby shower I will get my butt in gear well, regear and start working on the baby's room again. The shower is this weekend so now is the time to start. Okay sounds good, but where am I going to get the energy? Guess I will have to work on the reserves and get it from there.

Here's to crunch time and preparing the house/life/etc for the baby's arrival.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Getting closer

We are at our 36 week mark this week and only a month to go. wahhooo! We are so excited and now I have to get remotivated so we can get the rest of the stuff done. It has been increasing more difficult to get around and I am less motivated to do so I need to suck it up and get my bootie in gear for our little girl's arrival!

Thursday, October 29, 2009


Coming from a person that has always been able to sleep to now that I wake up constantly I actually realize how the other half live and I hate to say it but how do you do it. I had an emotional couple of days and think that hurt my sleep schedule even more so yesterday my body and I had words and I spent most of the day sleeping and it was amazing! I guess it is true that when you are tired enough, you will sleep no matter what and that was the case yesterday and last night. I even had a dream last night which means I was in a deep enough sleep to have it and remember it. Don't get me wrong, still did the waking up thing but for the most part, I was able to get back to sleep, here's to having a sleep full day!

Monday, October 26, 2009


Well, this past weekend we celebrated a 100th birthday and the passing of our beloved grandpa at 98. Thank-you grandpa for all the love and blessings that you have shared with me for my whole life. You will be missed by all that love you and our thankful that you are finally at peace. You are making room for our little girl to come into this world and I know that she will be blessed by you and your circle of life. goodby grandpa, I love you!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

circle of life

So, I know someone that is during 100 this weekend and my own grandpa who is 99 is about to say goodbye to the world soon. He is choosing his fate and I believe in the circle of life and him exiting this world so my new baby girl can enter. People think I am too alturistic when I think like this, but how can you be sad for someone that has lived his life, and is choosing to say goodbye. Goodbye grandpa, I love you and know that you will be happy to pave the way for my own little girl's entrance into this world.

Monday, October 19, 2009

bladder dance

Okay, so we are approaching 6 weeks and our little girl is really showing her personality. Who knew you could have so much fun in one's belly. She has taken to dancing on my bladder at nights, isn't that fun? I guess it is for her, not for me, but she is teaching me a valuable lesson on how to survive on lack of sleep. Going to try to forgo the nap today so maybe we can both sleep tonight, one can only hope!

Thursday, October 15, 2009


So, why does religion become so important when you have kids? Well, maybe it doesn't for most people but for some reason it has for me. I am more spiritual than religious but want our kids to grow up knowing that they have a place in this world, can that happen without organized religion i'm not sure because i grew up with religion, close family and friends and it taught me a lot about life in general. We had Friday night dinners and my grandparents would come over every Friday night. We would say a blessing and it was a good time. Maybe the family part has more to do with it not sure but i want our kids to experience that warmth and love that I experienced as a child.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Loosing it

Okay, so I think pregnancy brain has completly set in. I have always prided myself on my memory capablilities but at this stage of the game (7 weeks to go) I am a mush of brain. Not to say that I cannot function but still, do I need to misplace clothes and shoes and everything else. Well, the little girl is growing and kicking up a storm so she does not mind so I guess I hope for the best that after she is born it will all come back.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Visit with the Dad

Okay, so my dad moved to a place that he does not like too much, but it has worked out greatly because he comes to visit more often. The cool thing about this visit is that it will be the last one before the baby comes. Wow, yes that might not be cool to everyone but to me it is because I can finally say, I will see you when the baby comes. One can only hope that by the time the baby comes, the weather will be cooler as well!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The heat

Okay dokie, it is October already and it is so hot outside. I have lived in Florida my whole life and never really have had problems with my heat index before, but wholly pregnancy!! Not sure when it will cool down but will have probably given birth by then which is december. Until then I will just have to stay indoors as much as possible!

Thursday, October 1, 2009


Okay, we are 9 weeks out and the finally count down in my opinion has started. Hubby was all worried about the 3rd trimester but so far so good. This saturday we will be 2 months to our due date and things are going strong. Trying to stay calm, not over do it and relax as much as I can, yeah right doesn't that sound grand. Also trying to be a good wife and be supportive to my hubby when he needs it. Everyone that I know keeps on saying to hurry up and cook little girl, but i'm okay with having this time to enjoy her and to enjoy being pregnant!

Monday, September 28, 2009


Today is yom kippur and the day to repent for all of my sins from last year. I do not have to fast this year with the big belly and all, but I still like to reflect and realize what I did and what I can improve on as well. Hum, lets see, can I be a better person. I had a rough year last year and a great year, bitter and sweet. I can try to be a better person by learning from my mistakes and not making them again. Guess I have to figure out what my mistakes are mine and how to improve. Lets all work on improving!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Our year anniversary!

Wahooo! Hubby and I are celebrating our year anniversary this weekend. Where did the year go. I have to say that living with my man and marriage has been a piece of cake, of course we have our little things but he is truly my best friend and I am so fortunate that I found him and he found me. Love to everyone and to finding the person you were meant to be with.

Monday, September 21, 2009


So, they say weekends are made for fun, but of late our weekends have been made of doing and doing and doing. As everybody under the sun tells me, relax now you won't get a chance later on. I took that advice this past weekend and just chilled with my wonderful hubby. We had a great weekend and I'm so looking for to our vacation this up and coming weekend!!!!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

11 weeks and counting

So can I tell by my belly or the calender that my due date is approaching. Don't know how much bigger I will get but we only have 11 weeks left, oh boy, sorry mean oh girl. I seem to be counting down the weeks way too much it is all that I can think of, every week is just another week until the due date. guess its not a bad thing. I keep on thinking how different the house will be and how much will change afterwards, hopefully I will still be able to blog!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Saving life today

Okay so it was just a frog but how could I not. It seems that when I go swimming after a big storm and there was lots of rain over the weekend, the pool is filled with critters. Well, there was a frog swimming and it was big enough to put its foot down and get some air. Being all preggo I didn't want to touch the frog so I tried to get it out of the pool with something that I brought with me, okay it was the sun tan lotion bottle, of course that didn't work so i went to do my laps and the frog was still swimming, making an effort to stay alive, how could I not help. So, I went and got the life preserver and it finally jumped onto that. Silly frog will probably end its life another way today but not on my watch!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

3rd trimester

It's here, the one we have been waiting for, the 3rd trimester is finally here and we are excited! Looking forward to all those great hormone changes that I keep on hearing about. Also looking foward to these crazy dreams I keep on having and keeping my hubby sane by contining to take care of myself :)

Monday, September 7, 2009

Never done

So, I keep on saying that we are finished with the baby's room and I keep on finding more things to do. Should I not say I'm finished or stop doing things? Yeah right like there is a choice there. I have always believed in short term goals so I will set up small goals for myself each day until december, that sounds better than saying I'm done right?

Friday, September 4, 2009

Joys of back pain

So, here I am week 27 and I'm so excited I can't stand it but I'm also in so much pain I can't stand it. What to do? I've been told that once I see my little girl I will forget about all the stuff I went through. I'm sure that is true but how does one get through it now? I hate feeling as if I can't do so much stuff. I don't mind pain and if this is getting me ready for labor than labor will be a breeze. So, I guess I am telling myself that I will just enjoy and be in pain at the same time.

Life is grand :)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Saw the face

OMG! We saw our little girls face yesterday at her u/s and it was amazing. She no longer looks as if she is from another planet even though the hubby still thinks so. I can be a lemon breaking down all I want as long as she is growing strong and healthy inside of me. So thankful for everything that I have and all the people in my life today. :) peace

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Finished the baby's room

Wahooo!! We finished cleaning out and putting together the baby's furniture. I say its done but now it is just a time when we get to decorate and make it look all pretty and what not. So excited about everything I can't stand it. only 14 weeks until my due date, life keeps on going, and so should we .

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

feeling pregnant

Okay, so in the beginning I had the morning sickness and everyone said that would go away, didn't believe that it would at one point but lo and behold it did, well then I got the 2nd trimester highs, felt really good and could do anything. I am approaching my 3rd trimester and all I can say is now I feel pregnant. Baby is kicking, hips hurt, having trouble breathing, the list goes on. I can't believe I have 14 weeks left and I'm sure it will fly by especially since my appts go from every 4 weeks to every 2 weeks very soon then every week. Wow, it is so amazing that this little thing is growing inside of me :)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

yoga day

i started taking prenatal yoga about 7 weeks ago and I think it has helped me greatly with my mood and my aches and pains. I have never really been a big fan of yoga, not necessarily had a problem with it but didn't think it was true exercise. I find that if I'm stressed or even happy, yoga tends to make me feel better about my day/week and such. I'm hoping that I can continue up until my delivery day which is only 15 weeks away, oh boy! well really oh girl!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Our cutie pie!

We had to go for another u/s this morning. Apparently our little girl is not a morning person. She was so cute curled up in a ball and the u/s tech had to wake her up. All is well and I'm sure she went back to sleep afterwards, but I did go swimming so who knows. I'm hoping that she learns to be a good sleeper at night and stay awake during the day, cross fingers please!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Back to the grind

Vacation was amazing! Got to spend all day/night with my hubby and I know that might seem boring to some, but its great for me/us. We have been back for two days and I'm ready for another vacation. Being married has really changed how I think about things. I never really realized why people need to go away so much, but it just seems that our life gets so busy and complicated and when we are away things just seem to work, no fights, no stress just fun!

Lucky for us, we live in Florida so this is considered vacation state so we could be on vacation every weekend if we choose. I think we need to start thinking vacation and stop thinking work and back to the grind.

Monday, July 20, 2009

hubby coming home

Well, hubby has been away since friday and is coming home today. Shew! He had to travel for work and he does not do it much so I never really get used to it. I can survive but who wants too. Who knew that you could get so used to someone in such a short time that when they are not around, it seems as if half of you is missing. It is really funny that all the things that usually irrate me are the ones that I miss the most. Now you say that I should not be irrated by these things anymore, but thats not how we work so I will keep on missing him when he is gone, appreciate him when he is here and put up with his stuff that I miss so much right now. Hurry home hubby!

Thursday, July 16, 2009


I have always been a big believer in you look how you feel and you feel how you look so when I was not feeling well I was not exercising, now that I am feeling better, I am exercising and feeling better. I got a head cold on Tuesday and by yesterday it was gone, thankgoodness. Baby is fine through all of this and that is a big relief to me.

I am going to go to prenatal yoga tonight and I'm really starting to enjoy it, thought it was alittle strange at first but I am getting used to it and really enjoy it now.

So, here's to exercising and enjoying your day!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Spring cleaning in the summer

Okay, so we cleaned out the office yesterday and who knew how much junk we had in there. When I moved in a couple of years ago, we just put things in the closet and forgot about it. But now, we need to clear out my hubby's "man room" and make it into the baby's room with as little as pain as possible. Each time I walk by the new baby's room, I wonder how it will all happen. I am confident that it will, but we are taking the slow and steady method.

So, so much for a relaxing sunday, boy have times changed from a couple of years ago. Sundays used to be my recoup day, maybe go see a movie now we clean out closets. I think I'm officially growing up!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Why is the week so long?

Okay, it is Thursday and it seems as if this week lasted for a month. Why is it that some weeks zip by and others drag on. They are the same days and for me, my work week is only 4 days so it should not be that difficult, but it is, guess i can blame everything on the pregnancy now. Used that one this morning. I've been told that when your pregnant you lose 15% of your brain, who knows about that but it is a good excuse for everything that happens.

So i will drudge through today and look forward to the weekend.

Take care.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Its a girl

We went for our level 2 ultrasound this morning and we are confident that we are having a girl, waaahoooo!!! I'm excited but i think i am still kindof in shock because things are so real now its crazy. the baby is doing well and measuring well and everything is well.

Happy monday to all!!!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

The fourth

So, had an interesting conversation with my big bro yesterday, i say interesting because it shows me how different thinking people can be. He went away for the holiday starting yesterday and assumes that everyone travels for the fourth. Well, i told him that not everyone travels for the holidays and he didn't really believe me. Yes, i think this is a holiday that is shared with love ones, but as we all know times are tight now and you can enjoy yourself at home just as much as away, that is what we are going to do.

Have a great fourth of july!

Monday, June 29, 2009


Okay, so I was down for the count last week and I didn't go or do much work at all the whole week. Got back into the swing of things today and i'm dragging yes, but still able to function. Antibiotics rock! Its funny because everyone says the same thing, take care of yourself that is the most important, but work is important too and you need to remember that. I see all these staticstics about staying home when you are sick helps productivity, but does that help when you are out. Didn't get made to feel too guilty when I got back today and sure glad i feel better, just alittle guilt on my part for being so sick.

feel great and have a great monday!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Counting down

We are in our 16 week of our lovely pregnancy and we have two more weeks to find out the sex!!! I know that once I find out the sex, I will be off to the running with planning and what not. We have our second chromosonal doc appt tommorrow and the hubby has a doctor's appt too so we will be foreshadowing the future and go to our appts together. How fun!!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Usuallly don't seem to post on wednesday's here but there are no rules to when I post, right? I tend to live by rules and structure maybe alittle to much. People keep on asking me if I want to know the sex of our baby. If they knew me at all, the answer would be yes! I am a planner and I think planning overall reduces stress in people's lives. So, planning it is. Lucky for me, I found a guy who is also a planner not to my level though but he doesn't think I'm crazy for my organization and somewhat appreciates it at times.

Thats all for a Wednesday.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Another monday

It seems as if I always post on here on mondays, not sure what that means so I won't try to think about it. Had a nice weekend! I am finally starting to feel as if I'm a human again, but my body is doing wierd things on the outside now, strange stuff. Who knew this pregnancy stuff was so bizzarre not me. To top it off, the hormones always seem to be off balance and it causes moods to happen. My hubby and I are going to start to prepare for the baby now and we started this weekend by getting a second fridge, well not sure if its for the baby but we needed it big time.

I am trying to take each day as it comes and just enjoy everyday that I can, like I said I'm trying.

Have a great Monday!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Holy pregnant

Okay, been pregnant now for 15 weeks and I went through the morning sickness stuff finally feeling better from that, but now i seem to have things happening to my body that is down right scary. Who knew hormones could cause cold sores and pimples and all other wonderful stuff that has been happening.

The mircle of life is amazing that this little person is growing inside of me and it is sure letting me know how it is doing everyday even before the kicking starts, I'm lovin the idea of the baby but I'm a tad scared of what is in store in the next months of scary body stuff. Stay tuned!

Monday, June 8, 2009

so tired

It is monday again and once again i'm sooooo tired. How does this happen each week? I have 3 days off and I go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time and for some reason Mondays make me tired. Think there is something in the air? Went baby shopping this weekend and settled on a car seat and stroller, baby steps I guess, it is so overwhelming to think about, so many choices and ideas on what you can have. Saftey is important to me and I want things to be the safest it can be. We will continue our quest for the baby stuff but first I have to get through this day!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Pushing through

So, when do you take a rest or push through when your not feeling well. I woke up this morning feeling kindof crapy, well i'm used to that and I really wanted to stay in and not go to work, but what would that accomplish. How can i feel bad all the time and just sit there and take it. Well, this morning, I decided not to take it and I came to work and now I can't wait until I get to go home.

Having a happy go lucky day today!

Monday, June 1, 2009


Okay, never been into the idea of working for 5 days and being off for 2. How can you possibly unwind, get what you need to get done and be ready for work on Monday? Doesn't make too much sense to me.

I had a pretty good weekend this past weekend, well besides the throwing up and feeling nautious. We got work done and errands done and even exercised a bit. Do I feel refreshed and ready to go today? Not so much, but much better if I didn't have a good weekend and at least no puking this morning. Life is grand

Have a great monday!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

insurance companies

Okay, i am blessed with having insurance through my husband's employer and yes we have good coverage because he works for a big company, but boy oh boy dealing with insurance companies are a pain in the neck. I have been trying to fax a form to continue coverage with them because for some reason they are dropping my ob. I have been given 3 different fax numbers and given conflicting information.

On top of that, we realized that i wasn't even covered for a month because of my husband's company's mistake. Like i said, I am not complaining about having health insurance and feel blessed that we do, I just wish there was some easier way to get something accomplished with them. Who knows what kind of proposal that the government will present for health care but i sure hope it is one that will cut down on the confusion, not expand it any further than it needs to be.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

finally feeling better

Okay, going into my 13 week and I'm suppose to have that glow feel great feeling. Where is it??? I still have good days and bad days and yes the good days are more than the bad days, but i woke up this morning feeling crappy and it makes me worried that i might be one of those people that just doesn't get that second trimester reprive. I sure hope that is not the case and that i'm glowy all the time. I'm still hopeful!

Thursday, May 21, 2009


We are starting to talk about parenting and how we want to raise our children. Boy can two people have different parenting styles and still parent okay. I think that you mostly parent from the way that you were raised and if you don't like the way that you were raised, then you try to learn a new way, but learning a new way is really hard and you have to rely on books and other people's suggestions which can be even more confusing. So, what do you do? I guess you do the best that you can do in order to raise your kids and hope for the best. Nah, I think you should know as much as you know and talk to your partner about what both of you think is the best and then try to implement the best method possible and cross your fingers!!

Monday, May 18, 2009


Okay, so if anyone is reading this, you know that I haven't been feeling so good lately and when someone asks me how I am feeling i have to respond that I'm not so okay. I hate that, I hate that I don't feel good and that I cannot enjoy the joys of pregnancy. I am approaching my second trimester and need to realize that I need to tough it out and just forget about these last 6 weeks or so. I haven't had any prolong illness in my life and I'm not used to feeling crappy but I know how it feels now and I'm looking foward to telling people I feel great!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Sleep deprived

Okay, having a new experience lately that I haven't been able to sleep at night. Wierd for me, because I have always been a good sleeper, yes I am pregnant but what is up with this. I'm suppossed to be tired all the time, not be an insomiac. The longer I am pregnant, the more i realize that being pregnant is not just about creating a life, it is about preparing for parenthood and learning how one to be sleep deprived and to take care of others when I don't feel good myself.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

When to stay home or go to work

I always read about how much more productive it is for an employee to stay at home if they are sick because it can cause others to be sick and reduce the workforce's productivity. Makes sense right? Then why do we get the impression or at least I do that when I stay at home, I am going to get into trouble at work? Staying at home when you don't feel good is the right thing to do, but when you do this, you either feel guilty or you have all of this work to make up with when you get back, so what is the point.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

pictures at work

Well, back to the grind of work i go. I took a week off because I wasn't feeling so good, but came back to work yesterday and it was tough but i did it and today seems to be okay so far, so far so good. I have my cutipies to look at the u/s of our baby and our wedding picture. I know why people bring pics to work now because of how it makes them feel. The pics are so telling that i'm not sure if i'm feeling better or just happy, but i'll take both because like is great and i love everything that i have.

Monday, May 4, 2009


We finally announced to the world that we are pregnant over the weekend and I told my supervisors today as well. Always a wierd experience telling your boss that you are pregnant I guess because there can be only a couple of things that they can say such as, so are you going to work up to your labor and are you coming back to work which both questions were asked. Well, I hope that I can work up to my labor but the way i feel right now, don't feel like working at all, but i'm hoping that will change soon.

Telling people about your pregnancy is a great thing and it makes me realize how loved we are and how much support we have in our lives. I'm glad that cat is out of the bag and now I can feel nausau and tiredness all over the place.

Thursday, April 30, 2009


How many times have you told a secret to someone and asked them not to repeat it and they did anyways. Since I've been recently married, I realize that you cannot have one partner knowing something without the other, at least in a marriage that communicates.

What's up with our urge to spill the beans. Doing what i do, i know how to keep confidences but it seems as if I am far and in between. Does it go to charater if someone cannot keep a confidence? Not sure because everyone spills so it seems. Any thoughts?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Good mood when you feel bad

Well, we in florida have our first raining day of april so I was thinking about how I can stay in a good mood even when I don't feel so good physically. I always say that everything is connected, but I want to be in a good mood because I have a lot to be happy about but when you physically don't feel good, I believe it affects your mood.

Bottom line for me is I will try to forget the physical symptoms and focus on the mood to improve my day :)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Comfort foods

What are comfort foods? Why do we need them and are they always the same? It seems as if there are times when we crave certain foods that make us feel better about ourselves, I know I do, but sometimes, I just can't put a finger on what it is that makes it so comforty. Any ideas?

Thursday, April 9, 2009


I thought in my life that I have reached a limit on how tired I can be. I have never been one of the kindof people to pull all nighters or study for an exam up until the sun rises. I would go out late or early in the morning, but I would be a wreck for a couple of days afterwards and this was my youth.

I am experiencing a whole new level of tired lately and its really rocking my world. Not sure how to deal with it. Thought about staying in bed all day, but the life doesn't have time for that, can't really go to bed earlier because I need it to at least be dark out. I cannot wait until I go to bed tonight and its only 10:19 in the morning. When did i get so old?

Monday, April 6, 2009


Okay, it is passover and easter this week and I need all the engery i can get to help me through it. I am kindof glad that I will be so busy this week with family stuff so it will take my mind of off other stuff, but still I am having 8 people total at my house in 2 days and I'm trying to stay calm about this, but its still weighing on my mind. Nobody expects me to peform to any level of perfection, but I still do and I'm not sure I have the engery to deal with it, but I am so excited so I will try anyways.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

trying to do the right thing

doesn't it seem like it gets harder and harder to do the right thing. i think i am a pretty good person, mind my manners, eat healthy, exercise when i can, but even all I do does not seem to be enough all the time. how do you know enough is enough when you are trying to do the right thing? I think i used to know when you felt good about who you were, but now i am not so sure, i think we can convince ourselves that we are doing the right thing even if we are not just to feel better.

anyways, i will keep on trying to do the right thing.

Monday, March 30, 2009


so, what is the big difference between mondays and sundays? i get up the same time on each day (not because I like it because my body does it to me) I work all the time, but for some reason it is so much harder getting up and out of bed on monday than it is on sunday. I know I am not alone on this, but I don't know how to make it any easier. I don't have to get up early (got up at 8am this morning) which is enough sleep for me, but still, maybe its because i have to go to work or be away from the house. not sure but it is really hard to get up on mondays!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


doens't it always seem as if we are waiting for something? waiting for a date or waiting for a rainy day? I used to be able to live in the moment, but since school has been over, it is harder to live in the moment. i think it has to do with working towards goals and accomplishing what you want to accomplish but there always seems to be something to wait for and it never gets any easier.

Monday, March 23, 2009


Okay, so I got some exciting news and it became apparent to me how people handle there excitement differently. Some jump up and down, some cry, some pat you on the back and some stay silent. I guess you do what you are used too, but when someone shows excitement by jumping up and down and you show it by silently knodding your head, how does the other person know you are excited?

Not sure, I don't think there is a wrong way, but I just come from the belief that there needs to be some sort of emotion involved in showing excitement? any thoughts.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Avoiding thinking about something

How do you avoid thinking about something that you have to put off? The more I try to avoid it, the more I think about it. There are some things that we cannot control, correct that most things we cannot control, but our thought process is our own. So, why can't I focus on what I need to focus on and avoid the things that make my mind wander?

Any suggestions would be helpful.

Thursday, March 5, 2009


Just posed an article on irritablity and it got me thinking about how you can track how irritable you really are? Not sure. I am tired, and down and know that when I am those two things, it leads to irritablity.

But how do you avoid it? Harder question and one that cannot easily be answered. I could lie in bed all day (yeah right) that wouldn't work, can do things to help me relax (guess i shouldn't be working so much) and take care of myself (thats a hard one too)

So I guess i will just have to wait until it passess.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


We all have them, but we all do not love them. I am fortunate to have a family that is open and honest with each other and when there is conflict we let each other know about it almost immediately. Some families that I know will sit on topics for awhile and when they cannot stand it any longer, will stay how they feel.

Which is better? I am used to my family and do not understand the other way but maybe it works for some families. which way works for you?

Monday, February 16, 2009

moving forward

Okay, so I am healthy now and moving in the right direction and it seems as if for the most part that life is status quo. I know that is difficult to believe since times are so very difficult for people, but how do I convince the rest of the world that I am a new person. I talk to people that have lost an enormous amount of weight only to tell me that they still feel as if they are the person with all the weight on them.

So, do you really change or do you just modify yourself from time to time?

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Realizing life is good

So with all the stuff that happens in life, when do you take the time to realize that life is good for you? I think it is sad at least for me that I mostly do it compared to others. If I have a job is life good? For a while I thought so, but I am finally realizing what is important in life and how to determine how life is good.

Life is good when you make it good and in order to make it good you have to work on getting it better for yourself. simple, no way but the concept is simple.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


I get asked all the time how do I change? I think that might be the hardest question to ask because how do you? Even if you want to, do you for a little while then revert back to what you know?

How does acceptance affect change? If you learn to accept your situation then does that mean you are giving up? There is so little that you can change in life so is it better just to accept? I would say some things yes and somethings no, depends. If there is something that you can do to make change occur then go for it! If it is out of your control, than acceptance is better to keep you calm.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Still stuggling with asking for help

Okay, so I am working and finally making some money, now does this make me happy? I think the things that I can do with the money makes me happy. I have a hard time asking for help and that issue has gotten me into trouble in the past so I feel as if I need to "earn my keep" not sure why I feel this, but I do and it is imbeaded in me that I need to always make my own money even though if I ask I will get help with things from the ones that love me.

When do you ask for help and when do you suck it up and stick to your guns? Guess that is why life is trial and error because you never know which one is going to work for you.

Monday, January 19, 2009


I saw a double rainbow this morning and I could see both ends. No, didn't see a pot of gold but for some reason, rainbows give me hope about the future. I have kept my promise to myself about staying optomistic and positive and because of that I am calmer than I was. I am looking out the window now about 6 hours later and it is raining. Does that make a difference when it comes to your mood? Not sure, something about rainy days that makes me want to stay inside and sunny days to go outside. Well, for the most part I am in doors so guess rainny is better.

Not really sure where this is heading, but just thought I would reflex on the rainbow I saw this morning.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

car accidents

I was driving home last night and the minute i got onto the highway the traffic was not moving. My first reaction was oh no, i'm tired and want to get home. Second and better reaction was, it is okay at least I am going home in one peace.

I always try to remember that the people in the accidents are the ones with the awful days and not the ones waiting in the cars, now if all of us can remember that and learn how to appreciate what we have instead of being upset because we are stuck in traffic for a half an hour.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

2009 is my year

I was told recently that 2009 was going to be my year. I hope so, but I do not know what that really means? I am starting a new job today and one thing that I have learned and need to keep on relearning is that when you are in a stressful situation, you do not realize it until you get out of it.

How many people finally leave a job or a relationship only to realize afterwards how bad it was for them? Not sure how we can change that so we don't abuse ourselves so much.

I am hoping that 2009 is my year and so far so good. I believe it cannot be worse than last year.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Getting used to something

So, how long does it take to get used to something new? I was told that it takes 2 weeks? yeah right, there are things that take a minute and then there are things that you never get used too. How do you get used to the hard things? I see people that struggle with change, basically everybody, who likes change anyways? I am trying to change into someone that I was a couple of years ago and I have always preached that you can never go back. Guess I have to listen to myself and learn how to reinvent myself. First step is getting used to the new me and liking her for all of her greatness and all of her faults. Yeah, just started talking in the third person.

Life is way too short to spend my time being upset and too much of it lately has been that, so i am making an effort today to get used to change and go with the flow. sounds good right?

Monday, January 5, 2009

What does a girl have to write to get a following?

Hey there,
so i start blogging and think that i write witty comments, but no followers. hmm what needs to be done to start a conversation? Well, a real conversation one person starts then the other has to follow, if nobody follows then it is not considered conversation. I guess blogging is the same. I do enjoy this posts and it has become a relaxing diary for me if anything of that, but i wish one day somone would just say hello!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

2009 so far

Okay, I made it to 2009, good riddenness to 2008 and hello to 2009. How do you know if your problems will follow you into the new year? Just because the date changes, doesn't mean that your life changes, but then why do I feel like I have fresh start and a new outlook on life. Does anyone else feel this way? Is it the idea of a new start or is it actually possible?