Ready for 2009

Gosh, who else is ready for 2009? I had a discussion today about 2008 and this is the first year in a long time that I will be happily ready to put behind me. There is something about starting fresh that allows you the opportunity to move forward and upwards.

When I was in school I could do that each semester, but now that I am in the real world, I have to do it the hard way and wait a whole year to start something new. This year has taught me so much about my resolve and strenght as a person so I cannot count it as a total loss, but I am looking forward to 2009. I think it is going to be a great year!!

Depression or sickness

Hey
Was sick this past week and realized that symptoms of sickness are the same as depression. Now, I know that I do not have clinically depression in me because even though I have been tired, instead of just laying in bed, I have been pushing myself to get up and move forward. I had a horrible/great week. I actually had 3 jobs this past week while I was sick. I know kindof crazy, but it was enough to put anybody's mood into overdrive, so I have to remember that I need to give myself a break and put this past week behind me and move forward once again because that is all that I can do, keep on moving forward even if forces want to stop me.

So, I will say that I was sick and not depressed because I am moving forward and upwards.

Getting your hopes up

Hey
Well, I start a new job today. I put into my mind how I wanted this job to be and it didn't work out the way that I wanted, boy was I disappointed. The funny thing is that I am usually okay with disappointment, but I think I just got my hopes up and then got shot down. I usually try not to get excited about anything until it comes true because I have seen so many things fall apart before they happen. Why did I get my hopes up this time? Not sure, I think I have had so much bad luck lately that I was due for something positive.

Oh well, I will try to make the best of my situation and just hope for the best, that is the only thing I can do at this point.

expressing thoughts

I have heard from a couple of people that they enjoy reading my posts and finding out what I will say next. I really like the idea of blogging because for me, it is just about random thoughts that seem to come together in a blog. Does that make sense? I think so, it is comforting knowing that I can freely express my thoughts without getting flagged or deleted. This are my thoughts for goodness sakes, they should not be censored.

We always seem to be careful about what we say to others and how it will affect them, but in this blog, I am not offending anybody because if someone wants to read this, they will, if they want to leave a comment, they will or just pass it by. It is really just an expression of thoughts and it seems like there are way too many sensors on what we can say and what we have to say.

I find myself getting into trouble when I say what I mean. Everybody always says, "tell it to me straight" but when I do, it just doesn't seem to be true and I end up offending someone.

Oh well, that is way the cookie crumbles

Monday Mornings

Yep, it is that time again, it is Monday morning and I am wondering what makes Sunday so different than Monday. I am at the age now, where I do not sleep in on the weekends, so why is it so much harder to get up on Monday? I work in the afternoons so I do not need to get up at any certain time, but my body only sleep for so long which i guess is a good thing.

I have always had unconventional hours at the jobs that I have worked at and never really put in a 9-5 work schedule so I have not had the need to savor the weekends up to this point. For me, being in a relationship has changed almost everything about me and I think that is why Sunday and Monday are so different. My partner and I always have a great time on the weekends and we make an effort during the week, but it is not the same.

Is that it? Not sure, but it is still Monday morning and too much to think about right now!

Waking up

Well, waking up is not an easy thing to do and I had to get up at 3:30 am to make a flight at 6am. For some reason, I woke up at 3:27 am. My body just seems to know what needs to get done and it does it. I do not know how people function on little to no sleep. I was a walking asleep for the day. I am fortunate that I do not have to travel so much and that I get to sleep until I wake up on most days. Last night I went to bed at my usual time, but had trouble sleep and when I have trouble sleeping, I usual have a wierd dream. Well, it seems like all of my dreams are wierd. I dream outwards and never see myself in my dreams, and most of the time, I dream about people that I do not know or knew in the past.

It was ironic that yesterday was Halloween because I surely had a bizzare day. I will recoup today and move forward to my hope that I have a great night sleep tonight!

Eating for comfort

The weather is still chilly and I have been having too much hot choclate. What is it with the change in weather and thinking that you can change your diet? I do not ever try to diet, but I do believe in eating healthy and making yourself feel good by being healthy. Well, if you are not feeling great, do you still eat healthy to try to make yourself feel better? Does food still taste the same even when you do not enjoy it?

I hear all the time about eating for comfort and I think I understand what that means now. Does anybody else eat for comfort and is it okay to do?

Adjusting to the weather

Well, I live in Florida and for all intent and purposes, we have great weather. So why is it that it is 70 degrees, sunny and I am still inside typing away? Good weather should be enjoyed right? Does it help improve your mood? Not sure about that. The change of weather to me means allergies, asthma and just being cold. But besides that, I am not in the best of mood today and just feel like I should be because it is so nice out.

So help me out, does good weather help your mood?

Career Changes

Well, they say that you change careers 7 times in your life. I thought I found mine, but I am learning each day that you do not need to just have one career. I have been using my resources and learning all that I can in order to have as many careers as possible. Why settle for one? Who wants to settle anyways? Why should we feel bad when we get bored at work and want something different? Society tells us we should be bored and that is just life, well no way for me. I want to keep exploring different careers and somehow combine all of them into one. Who knows, it might work, sounds good anyways right???

Getting help without asking

Well, it is offical, life is back to normal this week. The trip is over and we are both back at work. I have never been on a vaction for 2 weeks before and i now know why people get so excited for a vacation. I did not realize how stressed out I was until I was able to relax for a week or two.

I have this thing inside of me, the "I am fine" button that I can always convince myself that I am okay. Well, I am not always okay and that was apparant with how my stress has come out. I know that when life gets us down, we sometimes say, WHY ME? I wish I had a good answer for that one. Life gives us what we can handle, but for me sometimes it sure gives me a lot.

I am thankful, grateful and all those other things that I can handle my days, but if left to myself, I think I would screw up all the time. It is nice to have someone watching over me and telling me what I am doing wrong because clearly I do not alway see it. I now have someone that is right there helping me EVEN when i do not want his help and I appreciate that more than anyone can ever know.

Not sure where I am going with this, but if anyone knows anything about making mistakes by themselves then that can be a start.

OMG

Well, wedding is finally here and of course I cannot sleep and have a pimple. It is ironic that life cannot ever be simple. I think that wrenches are thrown in to our lives to help us appreciate what we have. I had dinner last night with my family and my brother was playing a game of hide-and-seek with his kids. My nephew found the dollor bill and the first thing he said was, "Aunt Jen, I want you to have this as a wedding present." Talk about special moments. He is seven and the sweetest kid. Of course, I told him to keep his money for something special.

I am so blessed to be loved by my family, friends and especially my husband to be. Who cares about a small facial blemish when I have all this other stuff to be grateful for. Anyways, that is what make-up is for.

Decisions

I cannot believe it is finally here. We have been planning and waiting for this for 9 months. As my finance says, "We could have had a baby in that time." So far, I am calm and I hope I stay that way. I am really looking forward to this and nothing is going to ruin my day because I am trying to stay realistic.

I guess I have had some upsets along the way, but I refuse to think of them like that. They are just bumbs in the road. Once again, I realized last night how fortunate I am to be marrying my man. We had to decide on which room to stay in for our wedding night. Well, he laid out the three options and we were able to come to a conclusion quickly that we both agreed upon. Does everybody make decisions that easily together? We seem to make hard decisions easily and I am so fortunate for that.

How hard is it to parent?

Before having the first child, many will be unaware of how difficult it can be. For the first couple of years, there is the knowledge that the child might wake up through the night and keep the parent or parents up, but few will think about how difficult it can be as the child grows. As kids grow up, they start to lose their dependence on the parent and become more independent in their actions, thoughts and views. Most will forget that while teenage years are the best known years for independent growth, younger years can be just as full of trouble depending on the young individual.

Different individuals will grow at a different rate from others. Everyone is different and this includes all ages, including younger children. Some will take longer to lose their dependence while others will seem to trade it in for more dependence at a younger age. While many generalizations about parenting exist, there are some things that some parents will have more difficulty with their kids than others will. Most of these differences will often depend on the situation of the family, how the parents bring up their children, how much the attention the child gets and whether they have enough to keep them busy. Children who have inherited different genetic problems and diseases can be more difficult to raise, especially if they spend a lot of time in the hospital or they are older and have a pretty good understanding about what problems they are suffering from. Whether the child is perfectly healthy or afflicted with health problems, there are a number of difficulties that the parents will have to go through as the child grows and works through their stages of development.

Parenting is not an easy responsibility and definitely not something to take lightly. A parent is responsible for the proper care and development of each little person they decide to have. In fact, some expectant parents will panic over whether or not they can handle being responsible for the life they are about to bring into the world. It can be an overwhelming situation at any time during the child’s growth; from before they are born until they are eighteen and ready to leave the house. It is normal for parents to become stressed out over parenting, especially if they are a single parent.

Therapists and counselors can help parents who are stressing out over their role as parents. The stress is not good for the parents and it is certainly not good for the child. Children are surprisingly perceptive and can easily pick up on the emotions of their parents. Being stressed can also have a negative impact on how someone will parent their children and this is not healthy when trying to maintain a strong, healthy bond with the child. Rifts can occur and continue to grow until the family unit is broken. Online therapy can help parents to get advice and suggestions on the things that they can do in order to make their lives easier. It can be helpful to families who already have problems or even families who do not have problems yet. Seeking out the helpful advice before problems set in is always the best course of action. Contacting a therapist or counselor about raising a child can eliminate many of the problems that new parents will often face. They can help turn the parenting experience into something less stressful and more enjoyable.

Still trying to move forward?

Okay, the presentation is next week and I am getting better at working on it. Not sure why I cannot seem to get in gear for this. This is the end of a long road for me and I should be motivated and excited, guess what, I'm not. Not sure why. I am not used to this, I am really good at moving forward, but this is too much for me. I am still going to do this and I know there is something in me that will make this happen. How I am not sure, but I know that I have it in me to do this, so I will just do it. Does anyone else ever feel like they cannot move forward?

The best

Still struggling with the idea of moving forward in my life. I thought about going to therapy because therapy works so well for the people that I see, but I cannot seem to make myself do it. I am so good and making others feel good about themselves, but I somehow do not think that the same concept applies to me. Silly me. I just cannot seem to accept when my fiance calls me "the best". He is the best and tells me that I am, not sure how two people can be the best. My family jokes around with me about how great he is, and he is, he is my rock and my rockstar, my bestfriend, you get the point. I just want to be the best person for him, myself and my upcoming family. Life is what you make it and I am determined to make it the best.

Mo ving forward

Still working on my presentation, I got a call from school, well not exactly, asked numerous times if I had all my requirements to graduate and they said yes. Well, of course I got word that they did not have some of my information. Thank goodness I save everything that pertains to school and I had all my old records. I was able to fax everything to them and all was saved until the next issue that comes up. That is all for now.

Presentation

Well, got my defense date and I am one step closer to graduation. I am almost graduating, but still do not believe it. I do not know when I will believe it, so I will keep on going as I am graduating. I am proscrating which I do not do, but I will try to work on my presentation tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Graduating

Wahoo, I am graduating, well after I present my ACP and my chair approves of it. I have been doing edits and rewrites for a long time now. I know now what the term bitter sweet is because I am excited to graduate and nervous at the same time. I still do not think it is real and I do not know when it will sink in. I picked up my cap and gown today, so it should be real. Getting married seems real to me and I am ready for that, but graduation seems to be a foreign concept to me that I will have to get used too. Thats all for today.

Divorce

Well, it is official, I am domesticated. I cooked dinner last night for my divorced parents and they both loved it. I am one of the fortunate one that my parents get a long and I can have them at the same table without any arguments. I am not sure how real this relationship is, but it still work for me. I have never cooked for my dad before so he got to see me in action. This is the first time he has been to my new home and only the second time he has met my future husband. The night was a hit and I will go on with my domesticated ways for now. Happy weekend!

Dreaming

Okay I am back. Haven't posted on here in awhile. I am about to graduate, finally and I am moving foward with the wedding plans. It seems like all my dreams are coming true, so why I am not very happy. Not sure, aren't you supposed to be happy when all of your dreams come true. I think that if you are really dreaming then it is okay, but if it is reality, then you have to realize that more things could happen to change those dreams. So, what do you do, do you stop believing in your dreams or do you keep on dreaming? Any suggestions.

Routines

Okay, still moving, and today I am getting wood floors installed to help with the allergies and because they are very nice!! My boyfriend and I keep on realizing that we do not have routines anymore, it used to be that we spent time together and then did our own thing, well each day is a new adventure and it has been difficult to adjust to the no routine lifestyle. It is not hard adjusting to him, but I am not used to asking for opinions and relying on someone for support, I like it, but it is something that I have to adjust too. I hoping one day that things will settle down, but there is none of that in site, we are doing remodeling, then its planning a wedding then having children, is this what married life is like?